Fallen Angel
by SSAEmilyHotchner
Summary: Multi-chapter. Can Hotch handle the loss of yet another loved one? Will he be able to heal completely, or will he remain broken? Warning: character death.
1. Prologue

Author's Note: I probably should have included another warning in the summary. This story is pretty deep, and I would advise you to have a box of tissues handy. Because...it's sad. There's really nothing else that I can say except that I hope you like it. And that I'm sorry if it makes you somewhat depressed.

Disclaimer: The plot is mine. Ethan Lancaster is mine (...), and Olivia is, too. But everything and everyone else...isn't. :(

* * *

_"Some love lasts a lifetime. True love lasts forever." ~ Anonymous_

"This isn't the way you planned on ending this, is it, Agent Hotchner?" their unsub, Ethan Lancaster, taunted.

Hotch looked at Emily in Lancaster's arms, his eyes landing on the gun pointed straight at her heart. "No," he admitted. "But things can still go my way, Ethan," he antagonized.

Lancaster scoffed. "You're so confident…and are we on a first name bases, now? Because I'd love to call her Emily…" His lips skimmed over her throat and he murmured, "Agent Prentiss is a bit of a mouthful."

Hotch cocked his gun in warning. "Put your gun down and step away from her." When Lancaster didn't answer, he took a step closer and added, "Do it now!"

But their unsub wasn't listening. "If you make one more move, I swear I will kill her. And I'm not going to shoot her in the head, or the neck; that would be too easy. I'm going to shoot her in the chest. Long, painful death…all because of you. She's going to suffer, and it's all your fault."

"Don't listen to him, Aaron!" Emily shouted.

"Shut up!" Lancaster screamed, ramming the gun even harder into her ribs.

"If you have as shot, take it," Morgan's voice said over the headset.

Hotch analyzed the situation carefully. He _could_ shoot Lancaster…but how did he know that at the last minute, he wouldn't push Emily into the line of fire? At the thought of losing Emily, his girlfriend, lover, and soul mate, his breathing became ragged. He knew that he only had one chance, but Ethan Lancaster had to die. It was either him or Emily. He frowned. Where the hell was his backup?

"Hotch," Morgan said, "Take the shot." Even Emily nodded. So, taking a deep breath, he did just that.

But it was as if Lancaster had read his mind. Right before he registered the gunshot, he shot Emily twice, both bullets surpassing her Kevlar vest.

Hotch screamed in anguish as Emily's body hit the ground, as if in slow motion. Ignoring Lancaster's dead body, he ran over to Emily.

"Emily! Emily, look at me!" Her eyes fluttered open. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry…"

"No…Aaron…" she choked out. "Not your fault."

"Stay with me, please," he begged, tears clouding his vision. "You have to stay so I can marry you."

"Marry me?" she asked, her breathing coming out in short pants.

"Yes. Please, Emily…"

She nodded, then winced. "It hurts…"

"Where are the paramedics?" he screamed for anyone to hear.

"I'll marry you…" she said faintly, her voice barely above a whisper.

He kissed her gently. "I know. Just fight for me, okay? Be strong."

She closed her eyes and let out a long shaky sigh. "I love you…"

"I love you, too, but please, Emily!" he cried. She didn't answer. "No! Emily, open your eyes! Please, sweetheart…" He began CPR, his tears falling on her bloodstained blouse. "Please!"

But she was gone. Hotch still continued, however, trying in vain to bring her back to life. Suddenly, the team was surrounding him. JJ was crying in Reid's arms, Morgan was shaking, and Dave…

Dave grabbed his shoulder. "Aaron," he said sadly, "Stop."

"No! She could still be alive!"

"Aaron…she's gone."

Hotch collapsed and pulled Emily into his arms. "Emily…" he said between sobs, "I love you so much. I'm so sorry…" He held her in his embrace for several minutes, noting that her body was still warm, her skin was still soft, her hair still smelled like citrus…

Then Morgan finally spoke. "Hotch, come on." His voice cracked. "Let the paramedics take her."

Hotch said nothing, and everyone knew that he planned on never letting go. "She looks so peaceful," he whispered. "She could just be asleep.." Finally, he released her, dropping his head in his hands and crying until he had no more tears to shed. Her body was about to be wheeled away when Hotch said, "Wait!" Running over to her body, he pulled out a diamond engagement ring from his pocket and placed it on her middle finger. Kissing her forehead lightly, he said, "This is for you, my angel."


	2. Chapter One: Memento Mori

Author's Note: I probably should have included another warning in the summary. This story is pretty deep, and I would advise you to have a box of tissues handy. Because...it's sad. There's really nothing else that I can say except that I hope you like it. And that I'm sorry if it makes you somewhat depressed.

Disclaimer: The plot is mine. Ethan Lancaster is mine (...), and Olivia is, too. But everything and everyone else...isn't. :( (I don't own _I, Robot_.)

* * *

It was quiet and ever so still as Hotch stood over Emily's marble grey casket. _Just like Haley's, _he noticed miserably. Clearing throat and pushing back tears, he began her eulogy.

"There's that saying, 'Every cloud has a silver lining', and I believe it, because Emily was mine. I know I speak for many others as well when I say that she could captivate one with just one smile, and make any dark day bright with her musical laughter. Emily saw the good in everyone, and it was a quality that made her loved unconditionally by most everyone she met. To say that she was my best friend would be a severe understatement. She was my angel; I could always count on her to be there whenever I needed her love and beauty. She was my fiancée." His voice broke and he took a deep breath to steady himself. "She loved her family and friends with a ferocity like nothing I've ever seen. And she loved her job. She did it exceedingly well, although she knew that with each day came the risk of…" He closed his eyes. "Of death. I know that if Emily was here with us today, she would ask us not to mourn her death, but to celebrate her life and many accomplishments. I loved her more than anything in the world, and we knew each other both inside and out. Which is why I know that is she was here today, she would tell us to make sure that we all keep a spot at the bottom of our hearts for our friends and family, because in the end…" He wished away his tears and started again. "Because in the end, they are really all that matter."

~.~.~

JJ found Hotch standing on the balcony of the funeral home, staring at the solemnly peaceful cemetery.

She tapped his shoulder lightly. "Hotch?"

He turned around. "JJ," he said simply in greeting.

"I'm sorry," was all she was able to say.

"I'm sorry, too. I know that you and Emily were very close," he said quietly.

She nodded. "We were. She told me about pretty much anything and everything."

Hotch turned back to the cemetery. "So many innocent lives lost…" he murmured, his voice carried away by the wind.

"She loved you."

"And I loved her."

"I don't know what to say," JJ whispered.

He looked at his friend. "You don't have to say anything. Just the fact that you came here means a lot," he said sincerely.

"I thought you could use someone to talk to."

"And I did." He sighed. "Hell, we all do. But I can't help but realize that the one person I really want to talk to is -"

"Emily."

"Yeah."

They were quiet for a long time, when suddenly, Hotch started crying.

"I wanted to make her my wife," he said painfully.

JJ placed her hand on his shoulder and said comfortingly, "In a way, you did. You gave her the ring. And she agreed, didn't she?"

He nodded.

"She loved you and no one else. In the end, isn't that the basis of marriage?"

"It is," he agreed. "And you're right. I just wish that we could have done it traditionally. With a real ceremony, and a honeymoon, and…" He trailed away as the other four members of the team joined them outside. "And I wish that she could have shared my name."

"The only thing that stopped you was time," Reid spoke up. "In your hearts, in your minds, it was reality."

The others couldn't help but agree.

~.~.~

~ TWO WEEKS LATER ~

Hotch woke up, in the middle of the night, from a searing nightmare. And it hadn't been a regular nightmare - if there was any such thing. It had been a flashback. Night after night, he was forced to watch Emily die. Again and again and again.

Sitting up in bed, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. When would this end? When would he be able to close his eyes and see only endless blackness instead of Emily's dark red blood staining her plain whie shirt? Instead of seeing the light leave her beautiful brown eyes?

His eyes unconsciously roamed his empty bedroom, gradually adjusting to the dark. He stopped as his gaze landed on the woman lying beside him.

No.

It couldn't be.

But as he took a closer look, he realized that it was.

"Emily?"

* * *

Author's Note: (exaggerated gasp) Is it her? Continue...


	3. Chapter Two: Born Again

Author's Note: I probably should have included another warning in the summary. This story is pretty deep, and I would advise you to have a box of tissues handy. Because...it's sad. There's really nothing else that I can say except that I hope you like it. And that I'm sorry if it makes you somewhat depressed.

Disclaimer: The plot is mine. Ethan Lancaster is mine (...), and Olivia is, too. But everything and everyone else...isn't. :( (I don't own I, Robot.)

* * *

Hearing her name, Emily woke up and turned to the voice. "Aaron…" Taking in his shocked expression, she asked, "What's wrong?"

Hotch was frozen. "This has to be a dream. I…I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

She looked confused. "No, you're awake. What's wrong?" she asked again.

"You…you…Ethan Lancaster!" he exclaimed incoherently.

Her eyebrows knitted together. "He's dead, isn't he?" She paused. "You killed him.

"He shot you! You're not supposed to be here!" Hotch couldn't bring himself to say that she was dead.

"Yeah, he shot me. But I was rushed to the hospital and…well, here I am."

"You were gone," he whispered.

She placed her hand on his cheek. "No, Aaron, I wasn't. But I'm right here now, and…I'm never going anywhere else," she promised.

"Thank you," he said desperately, leaning forward and capturing her lips with his. Everything about her was _so_ real; not only could he see her, but he could hear her, feel her, smell her, _and_ taste her. His lips dipped lower, ghosting over the skin that he had craved for too long. The underside of her jaw, the base of her throat, the valley between her breasts, her stomach…she was real.

She was alive.

"Just wait until I tell the team tomorrow," he said wistfully. "They'll be so happy…"

~.~.~

Joyous as ever, Hotch called a team meeting the very next day.

Morgan glanced at Reid. "Was it just me, or was Hotch smiling?""No, I saw it, too," Reid said.

JJ stood. "I wonder what this is about…"

"We might as well find out," Dave said, joining the others as they walked to the conference room. Once everyone was gathered around the table, Hotch spoke up. "Alright…why isn't anyone saying anything?"

"What is there to say?" Morgan asked.

"Do we have a case?" Garcia asked flatly.

"No, we don't have a case. But look who's here," Hotch said, motioning in front of him.

"Who?" JJ asked, confused.

He looked at her as if she was blind. "Emily," he answered. He turned to his lovely brunette and said, "I don't know what they're doing, Em."

Emily frowned. "They can't see me? Why not?"

He shook his head. "I don't know." The others sat in a stunned silence as they watched their boss seemingly have a conversation with their dead friend.

"What do you mean, she's here?" JJ asked quietly.

"What are you all acting like you can't see her?" he countered angrily.

"Hotch, Emily's de-"

JJ grabbed Reid's arm and hushed him. "There's something…weird…going on, I'll definitely say that," she said in a low whisper. "But Spence…think about it. If he really is 'seeing' her…do you really want to take that away from him? You know how happy she madehim, and in reality, we all know she's gone, but…he's broken. He's obviously imagining things." She closed her eyes. "I don't even know what's going on anymore," she admitted.

Reid looked at her and nodded. He didn't want to take Emily away from Hotch. But still… "Emily's still here, isn't she?" he asked.

Hotch sighed. "Yes," he said in exasperation.

"You can feel her, can't you?"

He entwined his fingers with Emily's. "Yes."

"Of course Reid would know," she whispered. Hotch smiled.

"She's alive?" Reid asked, on the verge of understanding.

"Yes," Hotch and Emily answered in unison.

"Reid…" Morgan began unsurely.

The boy genius turned around and looked at the others. "I think I can explain everything."

~.~.~

"Sometimes, after extremely traumatic events such as experiencing the death of a loved on, the mental state of a…" Reid paused, searching for the right word. "…Victim…can begin to decline."

"In other words, you're saying that Hotch is going insane?" Garcia asked brusquely.

He shook his head emphatically. "No, not necessarily. I…I'm saying that I believe he's having hallucinations. In these hallucinations, Emily is extremely lifelike. All five senses apply. You heard him; he could feel her. The more and more he sees her, the deeper into psychosis he's pulled."

"Where is Hotch anyway?" Dave asked.

"He's having lunch." He paused, before adding, "With Emily." JJ winced. "Anyway, he refuses to believe us when we say that she's gone because he's already experienced the pseudo-reality of the hallucinations. And he will continue to disagree with us, because to him, Emily is alive and he is desperate to believe it. The science fiction writer, Issac Asimov wrote in his book, 'I, Robot,' that when a human is caught in an impossibility, they often respond by a retreat from reality. They will either enter into a world of delusion, like Hotch, begin to drink, go off into hysteria, or jump off a bridge. Anyway, it all comes to the same thing - a refusal or inability to face the situation squarely. In other words...escape."

"How do you know so much about this?" Garcia asked.

"My mom," he said plainly. It was a good enough explanation.

"But kid," Morgan started. "With all due respect, your mom is -"

"A paranoid schizophrenic. Yes, I know," Reid interrupted.

JJ gasped in realization. "So, you think that…"

Reid took a shaky breath. "I think that Hotch is developing late-onset schizophrenia."


	4. Chapter Three: Illusions

Author's Note: I probably should have included another warning in the summary. This story is pretty deep, and I would advise you to have a box of tissues handy. Because...it's sad. There's really nothing else that I can say except that I hope you like it. And that I'm sorry if it makes you somewhat depressed.

Disclaimer: The plot is mine. Ethan Lancaster is mine (...), and Olivia is, too. But everything and everyone else...isn't. :(

* * *

So, after around a week and a half, Reid and the others agreed that it was time to confront their boss and tell him the truth.

As usual, JJ took initiative.

"Hotch?" she asked, knocking on his office door.

"Yeah, come in."

She obliged and was followed by the four others.

Reid cleared his throat. "Where's Emily?"

"She's sitting on the couch," Hotch answered, giving the young profiler a calculating glance.

"Hey, Em," Reid said conversationally.

Emily beamed. "Hey, Reid." Turning to Hotch, she asked eagerly, "Does he see me?"

He shrugged. "I have no cluw."

Reid looked on with interest. "What did she ask?"

"If you could see her."

JJ sighed. "That's what we need to talk to you about."

"What?"

"Aaron, what do you remember about Ethan Lancaster?" Dave asked, sitting down in one of the office chairs.

"He shot me," Emily said. But no one heard her.

"He shot Emily," Hotch answered, glancing over to the couch. "She was rushed to the hospital and lived."

Morgan frowned. "He shot Emily twice in the heart. She…"

"Her funeral was a month ago," Garcia finished.

"Funeral?" both Hotch and Emily asked incredulously. "Okay, really guys, I don't know what kind of sick game this is, but it's not funny," Hotch said, glaring at all the others.

"You don't remember saying, 'I know I speak for many other people when I say that she could captivate me with just one -"

" - smile, and make any dark day bright with her musical laughter," Hotch finished, interrupting Reid's recitation from memory. Once he realized what he had done, he froze. "But…but…" He whirled over to look at Emily. "Then…what?" Emily stared back at him, wild-eyed.

"She's gone, Aaron," Dave said, cutting through the uncomfortable silence.

He stood up angrily. "No, she's not! She's right there!"

"Stop it!" JJ yelled, finally snapping. "Do you think that it's easy for us to walk past Emily's empty desk each day, knowing that she'll never come back? All of us have been trying to heal, but ever since you started claiming that you can see her, it's just been making it _way_ harder!"

Morgan looked at her. "JJ, calm down," he said.

"No, I'm not finished!" Turning back to Hotch, she yelled, "We get it; being without her is hard for you. But hell, it's hard on all of us! So just stop it, okay?"

"No, I'm not going to stop it when I know the truth. She's alive, for God's sake!" he shouted back.

"She's dead!" Everyone stiffened as JJ put it into words.

"JJ?" Emily asked in breathless disbelief, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Hotch scowled at her. "I thought you were her friend. Now you've made her cry."

JJ would have said something else, but Reid whispered, "Don't. You'll make it worse." He looked at the angry unit chief. "Where is she?"

"On the couch," he repeated, exhausted.

"I know, but where on the couch?" he asked, an idea forming in his mind. Whether or not it would work, it was worth a try.

"Far left."

Reid walked over to the location and sat down, stretching his long lanky body across the entire couch's length. "Am I sitting on her?" he asked, already guessing the answer.

Hotch stopped. "…No…" he said in surprise.

"Then where is she now?" Reid asked patiently.

Hotch frantically scanned the room. "I don't know. I can't see her anymore. Emily?" he called out. "Emily?" He ran over to the catwalk. "Emily? _Emily!_" he screamed, causing several people in the bullpen to look up at him.

Dave put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Aaron."

He slowly turned to face his friend. "She's…gone?"

Dave nodded. "Unfortunately."

"But…I just saw her! Barely minutes ago!"

"That Emily you saw…"

"…was a hallucination," Reid finished.

The full force of their words hit him. "No…" he whispered, sinking down to the floor.

"Ethan Lancaster killed her," Morgan said quietly, hating the sight of his friend in such a weak state.

"She's been dead for…for…two months?"

Garcia nodded. "Yeah," she said simply, her voice cracking. Morgan put his arm around her for support.

Hotch closed his eyes and leaned back against the railing. "Reid…explain," he begged.

And so he did. The doctor went on and on, telling Hotch exactly what he had told the others. "I hope I'm wrong," Reid finished. "But…I think you have schizophrenia."

He looked up at the sympathetic faces of his friends and said, "Honestly, I don't care that I may have to go to a mental hospital." He wiped his tears away before saying, "At least I'll get to see Emily again."


	5. Epilogue

Author's Note: I probably should have included another warning in the summary. This story is pretty deep, and I would advise you to have a box of tissues handy. Because...it's sad. There's really nothing else that I can say except that I hope you like it. And that I'm sorry if it makes you somewhat depressed.

Disclaimer: The plot is mine. Ethan Lancaster is mine (...), and Olivia is, too. But everything and everyone else...isn't. :(

* * *

~ ONE YEAR LATER ~

"So, how is he doing?" Morgan asked the nurse.

She smiled. "Pretty well, actually. He loves having visitors; especially his son. He's been sticking to his medication, has excellent behavior, and…I think the hallucinations are gone."

"Really?" Reid asked incredulously. "That's fantastic news!"

"It is. The only thing that seems to be bothering him are nightmares."

"Nightmares?" JJ repeated as they walked down the pale blue hallways.

"Yes. They don't happen every night, but he always wakes up screaming a woman's name. I think it was Emery…"

"Emily?" Dave asked knowingly.

"Emily, that's it." The nurse nodded. "He's also one of our most literature interested patients. He's read practically every Vonnegut book, and now he's trying to learn both Italian and Russian," she said proudly.

They all froze. He was immersing himself into Emily's life.

"What is it?" the nurse asked, noticing that they had all stopped.

Reid cleared his throat. "Oh, nothing. So…" He glanced at her name tag. "Olivia, do you think that he will be released any time soon?"

She paused, thinking it over. "If the hallucinations are really gone, then absolutely, he has an excellent chance."

They all became relieved. "Thank you, Olivia," Morgan said sincerely.

"Not a problem," she answered as they entered the main room. "Aaron," she called, "You have visitors."

Hotch looked up eagerly from the book that he was reading. "Hey, guys," he greeted.

Morgan, now unit chief, shook his hand. "Hey. We have a case, but all of us wanted to see you before we left."

"well, thanks. I really appreciate it," he said with a smile.

"Of course," Garcia responded as JJ said, "We all miss you, Hotch."

Dave patted him on the back. "So, Aaron, that nurse seems pretty fond of you," he joked.

"Who, Liv? Yeah, she likes me," he said, chuckling. They laughed.

"How have you been?" Reid asked, taking a seat in front of him.

"Good. Really good. They even let me sit outside and read in the garden sometimes," Hotch said happily.

"That's great," Garcia complimented with a grin. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"How is Jack? Have you seen him lately?" JJ asked.

"Yeah, I saw him last weekend. He is growing up way too fast…"

"Kids have the tendency to do that," she agreed, thinking of Henry.

He smiled. "I know." Addressing Morgan, he asked, "So, where are you guys going for this case?"

"Los Angeles," the dark skinned agent replied.

"The city of the angels…" Hotch whispered, so low that only he heard.

"What?" Reid asked.

"Oh, I said that it's going to be really hot over in LA, so be careful," he lied smoothly.

JJ chuckled. "We brought sunscreen, no worries."

"Good."

Dave glanced at his watch. "Well, Aaron, we have to go," he said sadly. "But when we get back, we'll visit you first thing, alright?"

He gave his old friend a sad smile. "Alright, good luck."

"Tell Jack we said hi," Garcia added sweetly.

"Yeah, ask him to bring some recent pictures the next time he visits so we can see him," JJ added.

"I definitely will," Hotch said.

Reid shook his former boss's hand. "Take care, okay? Stick to your medicine and you'll most likely be able to get released," he advised.

"Thank God," Hotch said. "This place isn't bad or anything, but it can get _pretty_ boring…"

They laughed at his very true comment. "Now that I can understand," Reid said. There was a chorus of goodbyes as they walked away.

"Wait, guys," Hotch called out. They obeyed and re-approached him.

"Yeah?" Dave asked curiously.

Hotch frowned and patted the edge of his chair. "Why didn't any of you say hello to Emily?"


End file.
